A Garage off
  Utopia Parkway:

Toward the back, on a shelf above rusting bikes and deflated basketballs, a little dusty. The cobwebs billow slightly in the breeze from the door, opened to the public at last after lo these many years of neglect....

That's right, dear readers, hitchhikers, and hangers-on -- We've moved the Utopia Parkway files to a nice roomy garage so they can be perused, enjoyed, and illegally distributed by anyone who happens to be passing by our little universe this fine millenium. Watch your step, don't let that moldy smell worry you (we've got it under control) and be sure and let us know what you think...

Table of Contents

• Info - Where the sam-hill are you? (and who's sam hill?)
• A Little History - what this place is doing here
• Links to the Outside World
• Roll Credits
• The Email Issues
• Web Issues by date

  Web Issues by Feature:

• Riotous Adventures
• Interviews with Famous People
• Kari's Cover Art
• The Infamous UP Diner
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Roadkill
• Utter Miscellany
• Despots' Log
• A Few Words from Our Sponsors

The Email Issues

• Table of Contents for all email issues
• 1:1 Gratuitous Eggs (April 1995)
• 1:2 The Frosting Affair (May)
• 1:3 Crazy Bob's Computer Store (June)
• 1:4 The Mother Road (July/August)
• 1:5 Let Ramen Grow from More to More... (September)
• (Note: Issue 1:6 was lost in a terrible disaster. The editors don't like to talk about it. -ed.)
• 1:7 On the Shoulders of Newton (November)
• 1:8 Yule Login (December)
• 1:9 The Big Sell-Out (January 1996)
• 1:10 *SMOOCH* (February)
• 1:11 Blood, Sacrifice, Destruction of Young Love (March)
• 2:1 Socks Again?! (April)
• 2:2 Bulb Monstrosities (May)
• 2:3 The Best of Utopia Parkway (November) (The nice thing about creating one's own reality is that if one wants November to follow immediately upon May, it can. Similarly, the whole world could just end, kablooey, at any second....)

Web Issues by date (some links may be screwed up for a while, here)

• 1:1 Gratuitous Eggs (April 1995)
• 1:2 The Frosting Affair (May)
• 1:3 Crazy Bob's Computer Store (June)
• 1:4 The Mother Road (July/August)
• 1:5 Let Ramen Grow from More to More... (September)
• 1:7 On the Shoulders of Newton (November)
• 1:8 Yule Login (December)
• 1:9 The Big Sell-Out (January 1996)
• 1:11 Blood, Sacrifice, Destruction of Young Love (March)
• 2:1 Socks Again?! (April)
• 2:2 Bulb Monstrosities (May)

Web Materials by Feature

Riotous Adventures and Road Trips

• Road Trip: Peoria
• Road Trip: New York City
• U of C Brochure
• Fall of the Yuppie: Operation B-School
• West Point Hop 1958
• Road Trip: Holland

Interviews

• Joshua Fried, Artsy and Great
• Conner Tribble of The Interesting Guys
• Scott Saavedra of Java Town

Kari's Cover Art

• 1:7 November '95 (Ooh, Spooky!)
• 1:8 December '95 (May All Your Christmases Be Merry...)
• 1:9 January '96 (The Promulgator)
• 1:11 March '96 (We Go Goth)
• 2:1 April '96 (On Safari)
• 2:2 May '96 (Tasteful, Elegant...)
• All the covers all in a row (The better to draw specious conclusions with - e.g., "the giraffe in the April '96 cover is clearly an LSD reference, while the pink SUV is self-referencing UP's own well-known purple car fetish...")

The UP Diner

• 1:1 Easter Treats
• 1:2 Paul Bellini
• 1:3 Fantasy Island
• 1:4 TV Diner
• 1:5 Challenging Snapple
• 1:8 Amused Diner
• 1:9 You Call Us
• 1:11 St. Patrick's
• 2:1 Happy Birthday UP!
• 2:2 Auntie Ruthie

Frequently Asked Questions

• 1:1 April '95
• 1:2 May '95
• 1:3 June '95
• 1:4 July '95
• 1:5 August/Sept '95
• 1:7 November '95
• 1:8 December '95
• 1:9 January '96
• 1:11 March '96
• 2:1 April '96
• 2:2 May '96
•            2:3 August '00

Roadkill

• Kids in the Hall
• They Might Be Giants
• Super 8 1/2
• Eric Schaeffer
• Testimonial Diner

Utter Miscellany

• The Commie Page from the Nostalgia Issue (*sigh*, that was a good one, wasn't it?)
• Arts & Crafts
• Arts & Crafts Part Duex
• Signs: Peoria
• Signs: NYC
• Happy Times (Issue 1:11)
• To-Do List
• Experiments (Issue 1:5)
• Slurpees
• Postcards
• Tips for Further Reading (Issue 1:4)
• Fetishizing Language
• Randyman's List of Foreign Non Sequitors

Despots' Log

• 1:1 April '95
• 1:2 May '95
• 1:3 June '95
• 1:4 July '95
• 1:5 August/Sept '95
• 1:7 November '95
• 1:8 December '95
• 1:9 January '96
• 1:10 February '96
• 1:11 March '96
• 2:1 April '96
• 2:2 May '96

Sponsors

• 1:8 December '95
• 1:9 January '96
• 1:10 February '95
• 1:11 March '96
• 2:2 May '96
•            2:3 August '00

Comments, unctuous flattery, nit-picking and marriage proposals can still be forwarded to the editors, now scraping by in their pitiful separate existences as retired despots in various corners of the real world:

Kari Bauer (kb0424usa@netscape.net), still hangin' in there in Chicago, IL - ask her about her shampoo.

Francesca Parker (fparker@angelfire.com), having had her fill for now with re-forming soft young minds in Beaver (yes, *Beaver*) Dam, WI, she has recently relocated to LA, seeking fame, fortune and a tram.

Kate Pickering (kmp30@columbia.edu), living the high life in NYC (between papers).