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The Utopia Parkway Frequently Asked Questions List


  1. What do you observe?

  2. Can you explain why this happened?

  3. What does this show about air?

  4. How does pressure change with depth?

  5. How does this relate to the fact that ships ride higher in ocean water than they do in fresh water?

  6. Is it a good soap?





  1. What do you observe?
    A cloudless sky. The gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze. The occasional shout of a child playing. The inability of man to communicate effectively with fellow man. The ineffable uselessness of Kant. The bizarre unreality of that which most people consider real. A toad.

  2. Can you explain why this happened?
    Well, we imagine we could, with the right amount of careful reasoning, impish suggestion, and random guess-work. What was the question again?

  3. What does this show about air?
    Its highly faceted yet fundamentally organized structure?

  4. How does pressure change with depth?
    The deeper you go, the more likely it is that the pressure will build up in your head, eventually causing an explosion the likes of which the creators of _Die Hard_ could only dream about.

  5. How does this relate to the fact that ships ride higher in ocean water than they do in fresh water?
    Um...well..it doesn't. Would a graph help here?

  6. Is it a good soap?
    The volume of lather is most impressive, but it rather lacks in speed and force. We recommend, instead, Utopia Parkway's patented anti-soap, "Grunge Gunk with Lanoline" [tm].


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