The Utopia Parkway Diner

No, no, no, *besides* a room full of disgruntled guests.

(permit us to continue our interrogation)

What would a Utopia Parkway[tm] party without Gell-O Brand Gelatin be?

(We were actually a little bit worried about what we'd have at our party, when, just a few days ago, what should drop into our lap but "The Gell-O Gelatin Salad Selector." Yes, it's real, and it's even scarier than it sounds.)



Said Salad Selector book consists of a series of selector wheels, titled things like "Making fish tonight?" As you spin the wheel, it points out which Gell-o salad would be best for baked fish, broiled fish, etc. It is by this highly scientific process, you will find yourself determining, despite your better judgement, that Gell-o dishes are a fine addition to any meal, and can be mixed with almost any other substance. For example, try:

• The Carrot Cheese Ring (Great with any Ham dish)
  ingredients include: pineapple, carrots, cottage cheese, and lemon Gell-O Brand Gelatin

• The Asparagus Castle (for consumption with Steak)
  ingredients include: asparagus, pimento, Worcestershire sauce, onion, vinegar, and lemon Gell-O Brand Gelatin

• The Red Red Salad (Making hamburger tonight?)
  ingredients include: salt, green pepper, katsup and strawberry flavor Gell-O Brand Gelatin

And baby, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Man, why can't it be our birthday *every* day?


(For that special occasion when you need a side dish shaped like a football...)



THE UTOPIA PARKWAY BIRTHDAY CAKE

Begin with the "Longhorn Salad," courtesy of The GELL-O Gelatin Salad Selector:

"2 packages (3 oz. each) or 1 package (6 oz.) GELL-O Brand Lemon Flavor Gelatin
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups boiling water
1 cup cold water
2 tablespoons steak sauce
4 teaspoons vinegar
1 1/3 cups diced seeded tomato
1/4 cup chopped scallions

Dissolve gelatin and salt in boiling water. Add cold water, steak sauce and vinegar; chill until thickened. Fold in tomato and scallions. Pour into 6-cup mold. Chill until firm, about 4 hours. Unmold. Garnish as desired. Makes 12 servings."

We here at Utopia Parkway[tm] have a suggestion for that there garnish. Seeing as how this is our first birthday, it seems logical to add a candle. But what kind? In keeping with the tasteful style of GELL-O and company, we suggest one of those great big fat red scented candles, in that hole in the middle of the GELL-O mold. (So *that's* what those holes are for!)