Faced with the prospect of a West Point Hop, even Miss Utopia Parkway finds herself stumped for the proper ettiquette. Where does she turn? To none other than Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette: A Guide To Gracious Living (1958)! For, as Amy put it: "Many a teen ager dreams of being invited to a West Point Hop but, should the coveted invitation come, a girl hates to ask her escort what's expected of her. She likes to pretend at least that she knows all about the Point, that she has been invited there before, though unable to accept."

Departing from home and family with Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette in hand, young Dorothy tentatively makes her way to West Point.

"The cost of a West Point week end is very modest, even though the girl pays her own way some of the time....Her cadet makes a dormitory room reservation for her, if possible at the U.S. Hotel Thayer, the hotel on the Reservation. The room cost is a dollar seventy-five per night and meals are available at moderate prices."

Luckily, Dorothy's mother has carefully prepared her with the poop to meet these demands.

"A nicely tailored suit or a sweater and skirt is expected for sports or an afternoon walk. Slacks and shorts are never worn."

It's true, Dorothy was tempted to pack her favorite pair of pastel slacks, but Mumsey was close at hand to replace it with a demure plaid to keep her at her spoony best.

"...as at West Point a cadet is not permitted to drink at all, not even beer, a considerate guest does not drink in his presence and, of course, does not bring liquor of any kind into the Reservation itself, even for personal use."

Ah yes - just a good wholesome boodle fight with some boodle from the boodler. There's nothing like pop corn and nice, old-fashioned root beer!

In contrast, this B.J. femme, Virginia, is hardly a proper guest of the Military! The poor manners of such a guest reflect, too, on her cadet, making him seem quite the dull tool.

"A cadet is conditioned to walking and expects his girl to be able to get around on her own two feet without wincing. A good pair of walking shoes is essential."

 
 Dorothy's shoes are perfect. Watch out for that patent
leather reflection, though! 
 
 
 *Ahem*. Well, once again, Virginia shows us what
not to do... 

"Even if you are a cadet's best girl, don't ask him for buttons (which are expensive)...."

Dorothy is flattered when this young area bird offers her his button, but she declines politely.

Virginia, however...(cough, cough). Well, Virginia, in her desire to be a max drag, goes a little too far.

"Don't take his arm or kiss him in public -- don't even attempt to hold hands while on the Reservation, except on Flirtation Walk where a little romantic leeway is permitted. And, of course, you wait to be invited there."

For example, here Virginia is a touch overanxious to become this flanker's O.A.O.

Whereas Dorothy is becoming a pro hopoid.

"Fairly conservative dance dresses are worn. The girl showing up in attire more suited to burlesque than the starchy Point is unlikely to be asked back."

And thus, for the well-prepared Dorothy, the hop was a max. While, the last time we spotted Virginia, she was running off with a snake.

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Photos by Kari Bauer, klbauer@midway.uchicago.edu

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AREA BIRD A cadet who usually spends his free afternoons serving punishment tours.

BENO A cancellation, negative report, derived from the official phrase, 'There will be no...' Often comes in the form of a letter from a femme, i.e., 'Sorry can't come.'

B.J. Fresh; lacking in respect; 'Bold before June.'

BOODLE Cake, candy, ice cream, etc.; all eatables in general, excluding those served in the mess hall

BOODLE FIGHT A gathering of one or more persons at which boodle is consumed

BOODLERS Refreshment room in Grant Hall. Also refers to the boodle dispensing centers at the Cadet Store and the Thayer Hotel

BUGS Oysters, small pieces of vegetable, or other solids found in soup

BUTT Any fractional part of any whole, as in a 'butt of a glass of milk'

COLD Absolutely, thoroughly, as in a 'cold max' (See max.)

DRAG (v). To escort visitors, particularly a young lady visitor. To dump water on and otherwise disorder the appearance of a cadet on the occasion of his promotion, birthday, etc. (n). Date

DULL TOOL One who is exceedingly gross

FEMME A young lady

FLANKER A tall person

HOP A dance

L.P. Unattractive, undesirable [we cannot but wonder for what these fair alphabeticals stand: 'Lacking Pro'? (See 'pro'.) 'Loser Person'? -ed.]

MAX (n). A complete success; a maximum (v). To make a 3.0 in academic recitations; to do a thing perfectly

O.A.O. The one and only. Her [However, at Annapolis, this same term refers to both 'the one and only' and 'one among others.' Must be wretchedly confusing. -ed.]

-OID Suffix denoting agent or doer, as in sluggoid, hopoid, specoid, etc.

POOP Information in general

POOP-SHEET A page of information. Also a booklet of problem solutions

PRO Proficient; above passing in studies, or looks

R.H.I.P. Rank hath its privileges (as well as its responsibilities)

SNAKE (n). An expert stag at the hops (v). To attend a hop, or other social function, for the express purpose of enjoying the company of other cadets' drags

SPOONY Neat in appearance

TARBUCKET The full-dress hat

WIFE A roommate