Guess what! Randyman's list of foreign non sequiters is now on the web and looking better every day (now featuring Dutch, too)! What's more, we're doing a feature on Dutch this month. Yes, that makes this the second "ain't language wonderful and strange" feature in two months, but don't go thinking we're obsessed. I mean, we can stop anytime we want...we only do it because we *want* to, man - get off our backs -- We Don't Have A Problem! [pant, pant] Anywho, this month's trip..er..hit..er..*list* (that's it, "list") involves the phenomenon of Foreign Languages That Sound Suspiciously Like Your Own, Only With A Funny Accent. [the mgmt. in no way intends to imply by this that the world is having some great joke at your expense because really this whole story about there being more than only language is an enormous farce designed exclusively to make you look like a jerk. So please, don't get uncomfortable. No one's laughing at you. Of *course* the world's *full* of different languages. (snicker) -ed.]
Dit is Mijnheer...
This is Mr...
Hoe gaat het?
How goes it?
Heel goed, dank U
Very well, thank you.
Spreekt U Engels?
Do you speak English?
Brengt U me...
Bring me...
Ik heb honger
I'm hungry
Waar is de bus naar het centrum?
Where is the bus to the center of town?
Is er post voor mij?
Is there any mail for me?
De centrale verwarming werkt niet.
The central heating doesn't work.
Mijn naam is Frutbajt
My name is Gretel
Of course, Dutch also has a certain tendency toward the onomatopoeaic. For example, the word for wooden shoes is "klompen," after the sound they make, and "krakelingen" is that crinkly kind of pastry they're fixin' up over in the diner. Then again, there's "alstublieft" which means please, but sounds an awful lot like a sneeze to us. [Gesjuintijjght. -ed.]
