Randyman's
Dictionary of Foreign Non Sequiturs

Originally introduced to the world at large in Utopia Parkway[tm] 2:1, Randyman's Ready Reference section has now found a permanent online home. [please pause for cheers and bows.] If you'd like to send Randyman a non sequitur in a language he doesn't have below, please forward them care of Utopia Parkway, at kmpicker@midway.uchicago.edu Also, we're trying to collect the correct spellings for each of the languages we do have - if you're burning to contribute in that capacity, mail us at the same address. Thanks!

Hey, youse UPsters. Those of you who know me, know that I am a
man of sundry and diverse interests (albeit mostly silly ones). As
such, one of my hobbies for the past several years has been to collect
a totally useless phrase in every language I could. I share with you
now the fruits of my labors to date.

Note: all phrases are spelled phonetically.

--randyman

Swedish:
"Yog air oost"
"I am cheese."
("Jag ar ost.")

German:
"Vo ist dee nahesteh Koo?"
"Where is the nearest cow?"
("Wo ist die nächste Kuh?")

French:
"Je cwah que je vah crachay une bool de pwah."
"I think I am going to cough up a fur ball."

Pidgin:
"Kurata bilong mi laik planti kaikai plis."
"My octopus would like lots of food, please."

Persian:
"LahkPOSHtam dareh mireh az keshVAHR"
"My turtle has left the country."

Esperanto:
"Mi hundo estas en vi hundo."
"My dog is in your dog."

Afrikaans:
"Gahn cock een dee meeleese."
"Go shit in the cornfields."

Czech:
"Ya NEmoozhoo dYEleet dvaNAATsky."
"I cannot divide by twelve."

Punjabi:
"Maah nukt, boat ZAda, geRAba RUCK-da heh."
"I keep extra socks in my nose."

Russian:
"Maya kowshka balshyaya chem vasha naga."
"My cat is larger than your foot."

Welsh:
"Mine ooLEEB HUHthee."
"It's wet today."
(If you've ever been to Wales, you know why this is a useless phrase. It's always wet there.)

Aztec:
"Neequeemeecteetohk eenana Bambee."
"I killed Bambi's mother."

Norwegian:
"Yay aar VAN-li-vis OPP-tatt may schoett."
"I am usually occupied with meat."
("Jeg er vanligvis opptatt med kjøtt.")

Bengali:
"shara shoptaho ami opishe khati, ar tumi amake phulkopi ene diecho."
"I slave away in an office all week, and you have brought me cauliflower."

Dutch:
"Bent ew min-EER Boot?"
"Are you Mr. Boot?"
("Bent U Mijnheer Boot?")