EvaluationTime

With only this little bit of further ado, meet the outstanding results of this month's dip into the warm-but-vaguely-oozing waters of Art:

*A Testimonial Dinner* (the XTC tribute album) - We think this is a mighty beautiful thing, because not only is the band being honored marvelous, but so are all the artists on this here tribute album. They include Crash Test Dummies, Sarah McLachlan, Freedy Johnston and They Might Be Giants. We don't feel entirely qualified to *judge* "A Testimonial Dinner," so let us say that we love it. It's a pleasure to listen to, delightful to look at, but if you break it, consider it sold.

*ScottLand* - Scott Thompson (yes, Scott Thompson) of The Kids in the Hall (I told you, Scott Thompson) has his veddy own site on the WWW (didn't you hear me? Scott Thompson). In fact, he has his own domain, but that's probably besides the point (let me try again: Scott Thompson). It's called ScottLand,(that's what I said - Scott Thompson), and the URL is http://www.scottland.com/ (do I need to spell it out? S-C-O-T-T T-H-O-M-P-S-O-N). Go check it out - it is, indeed, a kingdom, complete with a Queen and citizenship - that's right, in just a few short steps, you can become a full fledged citizen to ScottLand (you know, Scott Thompson's web page?), granting yourself access to some prime locations on the site, including intra-kingdom mail and a "cafe" where Scott Thompson, Paul Bellini and Scott Thompson put in the occasional appearance. What can we say? We're seduced by anyone creating their own reality. Now that we know how easy it is.... ummmmANYWAY. Even if you're not sure you want to make that big plunge of selling your soul to Scott Thompson, you can wander around ScottLand quite freely (what *is* freedom, anyway? and what is Scott Thompson, for that matter?), so make like the Windows '95 commercials, and visit foreign lands in the privacy of your own underwear (or Scott Thompson's underwear if you should be so lucky to have access to it. Or so lucky as to be Scott Thompson.) What made us particularly happy were the Bellini-recorded live performances of Scott's (VHS). Why does Scott Thompson have a Scott Thompson web page called ScottLand? You might well ask...maybe it's the super safe means of obtaining solar masses of Scott Thompson fan mail...or the fact that he can now market ScottLand t-shirts with pictures of Scott Thompson...and *no* he's not paying us by the number of times we say the name Scott Thompson. Scott Thompson.

*Blue In the Face* - This is a great little movie, made in under a week (various sources have cited anywhere between 3 and 6 days) by the folks who made "Smoke." And it has the added advantage of being (at least in intent, and at least in part) about Brooklyn, for those of you who may have mythologized said borough. The cast and crew of "Smoke" couldn't bear to part after the wrap, and so requested financing for this additional film, to be built mainly out of improvisations the actors did to fill out their characters in the first film. Yes, that's right - "Blue in the Face" was effectively improvised, with only bear bones framework for each scene provided by Wayne Wang, Paul Auster and Harvey Keitel. In addition, there are appearances by a myriad of performers - Madonna, Roseanne and Lily Tomlin to name a few. The reviews have been mixed, but based on the same set of observations. Yes, in most scenes you can see the actors playing around as much as you can see the characterizations - but that's also half the fun. And yes, there are moments of questionable filler - a series of statistics given by extreme representations of the various ethic backgrounds living in Peace and Harmony [tm] on the isle of Brooklyn. But there are also many, many classic and true - and simply extraordinary - moments. Definitely worth the money and time if "Blue in the Face" comes through your town.

Cheaper than phone sex and almost as satisfying - They Might Be Giants' Dial-A-Song service (when it's working) now offers a news song every hour !

You may have heard of the new Sunday-night Fox sitcom, "Too Something." You may, in fact, have heard it ridiculed. LISTEN NO LONGER TO THE WORDS OF THE IGNORANT! We have a very simple list of instructions for making this the most enjoyable show you'll ever watch - because it *is* The Most Enjoyable Show, damnit. Popular misconception is based on some poor bureaucratic decisions, which is near the top of the "Worst Reasons to Fail" list. (Incidently, it's also at the top of the "Most Popular Reasons to Fail" list - but, we've said it before and we'll say it again, that's another issue.) "Too Something" will not fail - but it's up to people like us.

Part the First: Preparation

(1) Rent and watch the movie first.

Eric Schaeffer and Donal Lardner Ward made an extraordinary movie a few years ago, called "My Life's In Turnaround." It has a great production story. Basically Eric and Donny were doing a whole bunch of avant-garde theatre in downtown New York that very few people were getting a registerable kick out of, so they decided to make a movie. No experience, no money, no ideas. In a dramatic re-enactment of this moment, the word "pshaw" was uttered. So the film: it's about a couple of guys doing a whole bunch of avant-garde theatre in downtown New York that very few people are getting a registerable kick out of, so they decide to make a movie. As old man Poe once said "Is all that we see or seem/But a dream within a dream?" And what a fine, fine film it is. Schaeffer and Ward are two of the most charming people we've ever run across on stage, screen, record...or period. Playing themselves, they embody the paradox of being losers in the eyes of reigning society and yet two people you would definitely be well-advised to be stranded on a desert island with. In fact, the reason we're having a hard time being more specific in our praise is because you just have to see it to get it. It's an independant film. We've seen it at Blockbuster - if it's not available at your neighborhood video store, GET A NEW NEIGHBORHOOD. You don't want to hang out with a bunch of freaks. [side note: Most people who saw "My Life's In Turnaround" failed to fall prostrate at the temple of "Clerks." Having tasted what an independant film is capable of, perhaps. Like good acting for a start. And yet "Clerks" became the cult film. Whatever.]

Part After Part the First: Watching the Show

1. Ignore the *HIP* set-up. The most frequent comment we've heard as the show comes on is the heavily sarcastic "Oh, goodie - another 20-something comedy for the X-generation. Just what this world needs." Repeat over and over to yourself "This is not about being a Gen-X, twenty-nothing, buddy show." We admit, that's what it looks like, but we promise you it's nothing more than the blue candy coating on an otherwise good M&M. If you've seen the movie, you understand.

2. Ignore the laugh track. The laugh track does the ultimate disservice of making every line sound like a joke, when really it's part of a stream of clever banter. The individual sentences literally can't exist as one-liners, any more than a salmon can make his home in a cactus or Leona can stay out of trouble. So tune out the laugh track, concentrate on the rhythm and steadily building strength of the dialogue, and we dare you not to fall in love with it.

3. Ignore those elements which are clearly sitcom premises - like the sneering and cynical (Yet Somehow Endearing?) roommate-lady. Sure, she has her moments, and yes, this *is* a sitcom not a movie - but again, the point is that if you don't already *get* it, it's hard to see past the sitcom element. Which would hurl you with alarming force back to the "hey! another slacker sitcom!" stage.

Comments:

1. Fox is having a "Name the Fox Show" for this particular Fox show. They think the name has something to do with the lack of popularity. We've sent in our suggestion: "Ignore the Laugh Track While You're Watching This Show," so gear up your brains and send in your own. The name that saves the show could be *yours*! The address is Name the Fox Show, P.O. Box 7229, Burbank CA 91516-7229, and the prize is a trip for two to California. Oh, *now* you get out your pencils... You'll also win, of course, our eternal gratitude. No - wait! Don't put your pencils away!!

2. Unfortunately, "Too Something" is "taking a little vacation" while the results of the contest (Comment 1) are coming in. This probably makes sense - saving something for the soon-to-be bigger and more enlightened audience. Luckily, this gives you plenty of time and reason to go out and rent "My Life's In Turnaround." I don't see you getting up. Did we mention you should rent the film?

3. There may be a truth here, which is that the movie is, in fact, better. Sitcoms will always have laugh track, and they will always have gimmicks and premises, and frankly, the chemistry of the film doesn't seem all that automatically translatable. But hopefully Schaeffer and Ward will ultimately be successful in this medium as well. Because once we've descended into the proper head space for "Too Something" viewing, it's one of the most precious half hours of the week.