The Utopia Parkway Diner

"There is a compelling charm about the housewife who "goes gourmet" by serving Meat Loaf Wellington, or who strives to achieve, as one brochure suggests, 'glamour with a can opener.' Only a snob could find no joy in the igniting of a cabbage head appetizer flamed in Sterno, or the serving of Hobo Dinner in a Can by an executive's wife." (from Square Meals by Jane and Michael Stern)

In honor of "the cuisine of suburbia, driven as it is to create new dishes from off-the-shelf products," this month, the Utopia Parkway Diner feasts on the delights of modern food technology, rendered gelatin desserts, three times the recommended lifetime allowances of preservatives, potted meat products, everything frozen, canned, packaged up and parcelled out into neat rows under the brightly gleaming fluorescent lights of the brand-new supermarket.

The Fifties ushered in a whole new era in food preparation. People were no longer expected to spend hours in the kitchen, toiling over a hot stove to nourish their families. Rather, the emphasis shifted to convenience - easy to make and even easier to eat. Jell-O, for instance, was quick and easy to whip up, readily incorparated into nearly any meal, and easy to eat, too - just *slides* right down. "Pre-eminently modern, there is also something fabulously primitive about the process of Jell-O making - the rather bizarre ritual by which boiling water and cold water, mixed with powder made from hooves of cattle, turns to shimmering, jiggling, molded shapes to be ornamented with miniature marshmallows, mandarin oranges, fruits, nuts, and berries." There were lavish molded salads containing canned fruits and vegetables, to the main course, with, yes, molded meats (or "Barbeque Cubes" to serve on top of salad greens). And, of course there's always room for J-E-L-L-O for dessert.

"To the creative pastry chef, prepackaged Hostess Twinkies are hardly adequate dessert." To the starving college student, however, prepackaged Hostess Twinkies are nothing less than breakfast. But enough about us.

So of course, it had to happen. Two dessert foods that seem more likely to have been whipped up in Chemistry 101 than in anyone's kitchen, much less than to be something any rational human being would want to put into their body; what could be done with them but to combine them?"

"Inspirational credit [for this delectable delight] is owed to our treasured Walnut Iowa Centennial Cookbook....When we came across the Walnut ladies' recipe for Twinkie Dessert (Lay the Twinks flat in the pan and cover with Jell-O), we were shaken with a vision. Why bury the twinkies? Why not partially chill the Jell-O and lay them across the top, exploding the planar arrangement into three dimensions? Thus Art is made, and a new Jell-O dessert is born.

2 3-ounce packages		1 quart vanilla ice
  orange Jell-O			  cream, softened
1 cup boiling water		7 ounces 7-Up
1/2 cup pineapple juice		8 Twinkies

o Dissolve Jell-O in boiling water. Add pineapple juice, ice cream, and 7-Up. Mix thoroughly (in a blender if necessary to dissolve ice cream), and pour into a deep pan, approximately 9 inches square. Chill until mixture begins to set.

o Lay Twinkies flat side down in two rows of four across top of chilled gelatin.

o If the gelatin is properly chilled, it will resist the Twinkies. You will push them in; they will slowly rise. It is a tense moment, like the scene in _Psycho_ when Tony Perkins tries to sink Janet Leigh's car. But remember- you *don't want* them buried. Just semi-descended in the lush, peach-colored ooze.

o Chill until fully set.

o Serves 4 to 6." After that, it's probably best not to think about the "Braunshweiger En Gelee" ("Eating it requires a bit more concentration than a cheese ball, since one must attempt to get a proper proportion of braunshweiger and aspic.") To get your mind off of it, here's a much more, er, down-to-earth recipe.

"A fabulous have-on-hand beverage called "Russian Tea" in Bayou Cuisine, where we found the recipe. In the winter, serve it hot in mugs; in the summer, pour over ice and garnish with lemon.

"Tang, you will recall, is what astronauts drink in outer space."

 

1 18-ounce jar Tang [tm] mix	1 1/2 cups sugar 
3/4 cup Lipton [tm]instant	2 teaspoons ground cloves
    tea with lemon		2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

o Mix all ingredients and keep in tightly sealed jar. Use 2 teaspoons mix per cup of boiling water.

See also "Communism.

Recipes and Quoted Text courtesy of Square Meals by Jane and Michael Stern.

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