The Utopia Parkway Diner

Have a seat. Did you need a menu? Here you go. Oh, the bathroom? It's down the hall and to the left. Let us recommend this month's special: Paul Bellini's Bacon Cheesies, courtesy of redgreen@io.org, via alt.tv.kids-in-hall.

Melt-in-your-mouth-soft white Wonder bread covered with a creamy slice of 100% real processed cheese food, topped with a crispy-fried piece of fresh bacon, and baked until gooey.

Some assembly required. In fact, you'll have to make the whole thing yourself. But it's not as hard as it sounds. To get you started, here are some helpful hints, courtesy of the Utopia Parkway Test Kitchen.

1.) Buy large quantities. [Utopia Parkway and
lots of bread]

2.) Revel in the wonder that is modern food processing technology. [Utopia Parkway lusting for Velveeta]

3.) Insist upon the highest quality food products. [Utopia Parkway sniffs bacon]

4.) Remember to pick up some fish for Bellini! [Fish heads, fish paste, and herring party filets]

5.) Ramen - great for a smack! er, snack.... [Smack ramen (tm)]

And for dessert, don't forget to:

Ponder the beauty and wonder that is EGG JIGGLERS.
[the finished product]

Enjoy them:

Better yet, watch others enjoy them: